Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
