He is such a slut. More and more my type.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
