hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize