omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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