so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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