i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
