This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
