dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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