please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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