the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
