dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
