I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
