it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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