the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
