i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
