i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
