We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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