he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize