There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we're so committed to being not committed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
