We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
