how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
