I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
3 2 1 whiskey
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
