Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
