i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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