didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
