I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
