fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
