Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
