she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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