dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
