They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
