I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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