Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize