i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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