i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
