He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So. Much. Porn.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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