mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can I color on your dick again?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
