Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
