If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
