I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize