dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
