I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
