Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
