I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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