yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
