chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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