Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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