So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I want her autograph on my taint
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
