Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
