glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
