I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
