You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
