I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
