apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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