I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
