how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
