"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
