he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
